Anxiety
Before starting this blog, and still now really, I thought way too much about what people thought about me - what I looked like, what I wore, what I did. Yeah, so does everyone I guess but sometimes it can dig a lot deeper and affect people a lot more than it should. That's exactly what my first blog post was all about, how scared I was and how nervous I was to do this because of people's reactions but I decided to put that to one side and do it anyway. Most of my posts have been makeup related which is what I want my blog to be about but I also decided to add in lifestyle and other things that I can possibly relate to or advise people about, anxiety being one of them. Doing this post has been on my mind for a while because it's not something I want people to think that I'm doing for 'attention' or anything like that. It's because I feel like anxiety has become a lot clearer to me and I have met more people that suffer from it. It's quite a hurdle for me to even write this, let alone post it but I'm going to do it anyway as I think if I was reading this on someone else's blog, I would very much appreciate it.
Anxiety is a horrible emotion. Something that cannot can be controlled and sometimes actually unaware you're even feeling it. Anxiety occurs within everyone, whether you're scared for an important interview or something like that however it can affect people in different ways. One way I can describe anxiety is feeling so nervous and timid like everyone is staring or smothering you and the constant feeling to get away from everything and everyone in order for you to calm down. High stress levels can also can panic attacks which are basically ways that you're body try and deal with the anxiety such as very rapid breathing or feeling like you're unable to breathe, very rapid heartbeat and pains in you're chest. I won't go in too much detail, if you're experiencing a panic attack you'll know about it.
I don't really know how or why my anxiety started - I was a pretty confident and outspoken girl in school. Obviously I had times where I felt shy or quiet but the groups of friends I had stopped that from happening. However, I think it was when school ended and I started college was when it first started. I was the little fish in one hell of a pond. My college is 30 minutes away from where I live, so the 99% of the people who attend there, I had never met in my life. It was all completely new to me... The people, the teachers, my surroundings. The first couple of weeks I enjoyed a lot, but then I started having doubts about the courses I had chosen, the distance my college was from my home and some of the teachers. I of course met some amazing people and a lot of new friends! But, the negatives started to get to me more than it should have, I started not attending my lessons and sort of got into this cycle of not wanting to go or if I did go, I wanted to come home straight away. I also think I missed my old friends too. This caused major anxiety for me and panic attacks and since then, if I ever feel exposed to new people or new surroundings, them feelings begin to flood back into my head leaving me feeling very anxious. After receiving my results and reorganising the courses I am doing at college I feel a lot better about things and going back in September frightens me, but not as much as it would have before.
One of the worst things about anxiety is trying to describe how you feel and explain it to people who don't suffer from it. All they seem to think or say is
"Calm down" or "Relax"
That does not help in the slightest haha! And, is sooo annoying to hear and be told over and over again.
For me, being alone and listening to the music I like or watching the TV shows I like help to calm me down. There's also app's available that help with anxiety that have relaxing remedies and activities for you to do in order for you to calm down and release the negative thoughts. One massive thing to do when you feel yourself panicking or becoming anxious is to control you're breathing as this helps to calm and prevent panic attacks.
The most annoying thing about anxiety is how it control you're life and stop you from doing or experiencing new things in life! I recently travelled all the way to New York on my own which I'm safe to say I was CRAPPING myself about! 2 years ago I would have been more than happy to do that but having the constant thoughts of becoming anxious or having a 'moment' was just creeping in my head. I did it, and I enjoyed myself but the amount of times I turned round to my mam and said, "I can't" or "I don't want to go" was crazy! And that's sad, it's sad that I'm 17 and I have to go through this every time I want to do something new because anxiety can stop you from doing so many things! But you have to say no! No it can't stop me and yes I will do it. Say yes. Otherwise, anxiety will takeover and you will lose.
On a more positive note, the end of this year is looking much brighter than the beginning! I have accomplished my first year at college, passed my driving test and flew half way across the world, ON MY OWN! Haha. Of course I still suffer from anxiety, sometimes more frequently than other times, it definitely has times where it can be playing up and can last a 1-2 weeks at a time! But with coping techniques and having the right people around you, it can help massively! It's much easier said than done as it stills knocks my confidence and my self esteem but don't let it.
Like I said, writing this for me is pretty nerve wracking! I feel like scrapping the whole thing already haha! But, I'm not going to. I hope if you're reading this and have anxiety it's made you feel:
1. Like you're not alone - because you're not. So many people suffer from this.
2. New ways to control it!
3. A more positive outlook on it :)
Or, I hope if you didn't know what anxiety was I have explained it more and if you sometimes feel like this maybe you've discovered you might suffer from this from time to time.
Hope this has helped!
Phoebe x
Saturday, 23 August 2014
Thursday, 7 August 2014
New York Sephora Haul:
Hello everyone! As if it's been 3 weeks since I lasted posted on my blog! Firstly, I apologise! But secondly I've been so busy. If you haven't already realised by the title of this blog post, I've been in New York! Which has taken up nearly two weeks of my time and as much as I would of liked to sit in front of my computer and type away, I couldn't! As well as that, I've just been busy finishing my first year of college and enjoying my new car! But, I am back! If some of you actually read my blog you might be happy about that haha :)
So yeah, I've just literally yesterday arrived back from NYC! Jet lag has most certainly kicked in so I thought I would occupy my time putting up a Sephora Haul for you all. If you don't already know, Sephora is a chain of cosmetic stores featuring more than 100 brands from beauty products, skin, hair and perfume. Beauty heaven right? And New York City is FULL of them! So if you are madly interested in makeup like I am, then this post might be the one for you! Some of the products I have used and replaced but some are brand new! *WARNING* - It's going to be a long one guys... I just get carried away and write way too much haha. I'd also like to say these purchases were in a series of two days, I didn't buy them all at once.
1. So the first place I steered towards was the Benefit stand... Ooops! I picked up their 'Benefit Bigger Than BB Big Easy Cream'. I have previously raved about this in my previous posts so I won't go on about it too much but basically it is a BB cream than can be worn underneath foundation, over foundation or alone! Personally for me, I've found it doesn't provide me with the coverage I need to wear it alone so I wear it underneath my foundation which is great for me! It provides an amazing base for foundation making application easier and the skin to look it's best! I love how it goes from liquid to powder so it's great for oily skin like mine and also has an SPF of 35 which is great for Summer! Definitely try this if you haven't already!
2. I also got two more products from Benefit that I will mention here! Firstly it's the much loved 'Hoola Bronzer' that I think everyone has tried and loves! This is the first ever Hoola I have tried and owned so I was very excited to! The reason I love this bronzer is because it has no shine and no sparkle - complete colour and completely matte! Which is what I look for especially in bronzers as I like to do some good contouring! Another bonus, is this is a bronzer for all year round and gives you a natural, healthy glow! I'm so happy I bought this!
The last Benefit product is the 'Rockateur Blush' which I hadn't tried before either as I've always stuck with Coralista but I decided to branch away and try something new. It's a lovely rose gold shade with flickers of gold running through it which I think will look amazing with a tan! I haven't used this either yet as I don't want to dab my brush in and ruin it haha! But when I do I'm sure I'll love it as I've been wanting to get my hands on it for so long :)
3. Ok so I've just realised I got even more Benefit haha! I'll talk about these both here. So next up is a very much talked about eyeliner and it's Benefits brand new 'Benefit They're Real Push Up Liner'. Ok so for me, a person who is absolutely terrible at applying eyeliner which is why I very rarely wear it, it is an amazing tool haha! Gel eyeliners are much better quality and the staying power is so much better, however I find liquid liners especially in pen form easier to apply... Confusing right? So, to find a gel liner in a pen form is just the perfect combination. Basically, you just twist the base and the gel liner comes from the Accuflex tip making application much easier! I must say it does take a while getting used to but the formula is amazing, it doesn't budge or smudge and as I have oily lids, I find this happens a lot! And the pen nib means I can get very close to my lash line. Definitely recommend this product if you haven't already tried it!
Jeez I think I spent too long at Benefit haha! The last product I won't bore you all about too much as it is a very much loved and staple of mine! It is the 'Benefit Browzings' that I think everyone uses, or has used! It's just amazing. It comes in a duo palette - a wax to fill in the brows and then a shaded powder. I love this, I have used it for so many years and I have had many compliments on my brows ever since using it. I don't know if this is true or not haha, but I always wear the shade medium but the one from America looks super dark! Do they make them differently or something haha? Nevertheless, it fills my brows in perfectly.
Enough of Benefit!
4. So after I dragged myself away from there, I discovered Tarte, which is an amazing makeup brand and if you have never heard of it, it's because sadly it isn't stocked in the UK... Bummer! But, after hearing many positive reviews on different blogs and YouTube channels I decided to give it a try. In particular a new mascara of theirs which is the 'Lights, Camera, Flashes Statement Mascara'. Ok, firstly the packaging?! Pretty jazzy to say the least... I do love a good packaged product haha. More importantly, the mascara is insanely good. It is a very dramatic black that curls and lengthens my lashes to the extreme to the point where I look like I am wearing false lashes! Which is amazing right? It doesn't make my lashes look spidery or clumpy and I am very much enjoying this right now.
5. Hmm where did I go next? I think I wandered over to Urban Decay to restock the good old 'All Nighter Makeup Setting Spray' which I have mentioned in previous posts because it is sooooo good! Like so good. I have oily skin and oily eyelids so applying primers and setting my makeup is a must for me, no matter how much I'm wearing. This product is literally like a magic spray or something! It keeps my makeup on all day/night long but not only that, it keeps it looking fresh and like I've literally just applied it! So if you have problems with you're makeup shifting like I do then this is for you.
6. So have I mentioned I have oily skin and my makeup just tends to disappear? Yes I have too many times in this post and I'm probably not painting a very nice picture haha! But anyway, it happens and can't be helped :) So, I use a face/base primer before applying all my face stuffs and so I picked up the Smashbox Photo Finish Primer, wandered over to Clinique and realised they had a range of different primers for the skin and they were actually like 8/9 dollars price difference! So I quickly replaced Smashbox with the 'Clinique Universal Skin Primer'. Like I said they had many different primers for different skin types like oily, dry and acne prone skin but I decided to go for the Universal one because, well I don't really know why haha, just incase I ever get spotty or dry. The oily one probably would have suited me better but never mind. Instead of being gel based like Smashbox, this is just like a moisturiser and sinks into the skin and leaves it feeling and looking fresh and ready for makeup! I've had no problems with this so far and it has kept my makeup very much in place so yeah, good stuff!
7. I went to Sephora on a mission to get me some Bobbi Brown! In particular a 'Shimmer Brick' in the shade Pink Quartz. Holy Crap, this is the most amazing, beautiful and perfect highlighter I have ever laid my eyes on! It's a mixture of five pinky shades and I just swirl my brush in all colours, mix it up and apply it onto my cheekbones after I have applied my blush. These shades create a soft, pink glow that will suit pink and neutral blushes very well! This product is so gorgeous and I love it, but, I wish it was a lot more shimmery on my skin like it is in the pan. But, nevertheless, I am loving this highlighter right now. However, I do wish I had tried the Hourglass Luminous Light powder first. Maybe next time!
8. Ok so I ready to pay and the assistant who was helping me was like (In her American accent) "Girl, you don't have no lip products in there! You're missing a lip! Jeez let me get you a lip"... So I guess I was sort of pressured into getting a lip product. I didn't really have my eye set on anything in particular but then she managed to draw my attention to the 'OCC Lip Tars' which I have heard about so much. So I was like, well there supposed to be amazing, last so long and have amazing pigment and staying power... One kinda slipped into my basket! I got the shade 'Interlace' which is a pale, nudey, cream peach... Great description right? It's also a matte which I didn't actually realise until I took it out from the packaging. My review on this product isn't the best, I have only wore it once and I've kind of been put off ever since. The application wasn't easy and the colour was very glossy (Matte who?) and it just didn't stay nice on my lips and as I applied it more, it was like it was rubbing it off as I was applying more? It's such a shame as there is such a hype about these lip products so maybe I'll try again and see what I think!
So a couple days passed, Sephora was on my mind, did I really need more? Did I really need to take another trip back to the amazing but deadly store haha? No! But did I? YES! :)
9. I had this palette on my mind to buy and for some reason I thought noooo Phoebe, you have so many palettes and you've just started a MAC palette so I sorta talked myself out of it. But then, somehow talked myself back into it haha. Which palette you ask? It is the 'Too Faced Neutral Eyes Palette'. So basically this palette has 3 shades, for 3 days, to be completed in 3 seconds. It has a Day Look, Classic Look and a Fashion Look ranging from mattes, shimmers, bronzed neutrals and pink neutrals. I was a little worried the pigmentation was going to be terrible which the shimmery shades as it is with the Naked 3 palette... But OMG the pigmentation and the way it applies onto the eye is just outstanding! I can't fault this at all and I know this is going to be my new 'Go To' palette. I very much recommend this! It's a perfect size for travelling and also the colour names... Ah just check it out it's so fun and girly and lovely!
10. LAST PRODUCT ALERT! I took a stroll over to the Kat Von D section as I have heard many positive reviews of her makeup and I had this thought to myself... She makes amazing tattoos so why wouldn't she make amazing makeup? Was I right, yes I was! I got myself the 'Tattoo Eyeliner' in Black. Another theory of mine haha, was if the name was Tattoo, would that mean the colour stay would be like permanent and really good? Ermmm yes! All liquid liners I have used smudge at the inner corner of my eye, does this one? Nope! It stayed put all night bearing in mind it was very hot in NY! The pen is made really well too as it's very long and very thin for easy application. My new favourite liquid liner and if you're able to check out the Kat Von D line, I defo recommend you do!
So that's it guys! The end of my very looonnnngggg Sephora Haul! I hope you have enjoyed reading and I hope I have helped recommend some new products for you to try! What new products have you been loving? Leave me a comment below :)
Thank you for a reading and I will be back with another post in a few days. Lots of love Phoebe x
Hello everyone! As if it's been 3 weeks since I lasted posted on my blog! Firstly, I apologise! But secondly I've been so busy. If you haven't already realised by the title of this blog post, I've been in New York! Which has taken up nearly two weeks of my time and as much as I would of liked to sit in front of my computer and type away, I couldn't! As well as that, I've just been busy finishing my first year of college and enjoying my new car! But, I am back! If some of you actually read my blog you might be happy about that haha :)
So yeah, I've just literally yesterday arrived back from NYC! Jet lag has most certainly kicked in so I thought I would occupy my time putting up a Sephora Haul for you all. If you don't already know, Sephora is a chain of cosmetic stores featuring more than 100 brands from beauty products, skin, hair and perfume. Beauty heaven right? And New York City is FULL of them! So if you are madly interested in makeup like I am, then this post might be the one for you! Some of the products I have used and replaced but some are brand new! *WARNING* - It's going to be a long one guys... I just get carried away and write way too much haha. I'd also like to say these purchases were in a series of two days, I didn't buy them all at once.
1. So the first place I steered towards was the Benefit stand... Ooops! I picked up their 'Benefit Bigger Than BB Big Easy Cream'. I have previously raved about this in my previous posts so I won't go on about it too much but basically it is a BB cream than can be worn underneath foundation, over foundation or alone! Personally for me, I've found it doesn't provide me with the coverage I need to wear it alone so I wear it underneath my foundation which is great for me! It provides an amazing base for foundation making application easier and the skin to look it's best! I love how it goes from liquid to powder so it's great for oily skin like mine and also has an SPF of 35 which is great for Summer! Definitely try this if you haven't already!
2. I also got two more products from Benefit that I will mention here! Firstly it's the much loved 'Hoola Bronzer' that I think everyone has tried and loves! This is the first ever Hoola I have tried and owned so I was very excited to! The reason I love this bronzer is because it has no shine and no sparkle - complete colour and completely matte! Which is what I look for especially in bronzers as I like to do some good contouring! Another bonus, is this is a bronzer for all year round and gives you a natural, healthy glow! I'm so happy I bought this!
The last Benefit product is the 'Rockateur Blush' which I hadn't tried before either as I've always stuck with Coralista but I decided to branch away and try something new. It's a lovely rose gold shade with flickers of gold running through it which I think will look amazing with a tan! I haven't used this either yet as I don't want to dab my brush in and ruin it haha! But when I do I'm sure I'll love it as I've been wanting to get my hands on it for so long :)
3. Ok so I've just realised I got even more Benefit haha! I'll talk about these both here. So next up is a very much talked about eyeliner and it's Benefits brand new 'Benefit They're Real Push Up Liner'. Ok so for me, a person who is absolutely terrible at applying eyeliner which is why I very rarely wear it, it is an amazing tool haha! Gel eyeliners are much better quality and the staying power is so much better, however I find liquid liners especially in pen form easier to apply... Confusing right? So, to find a gel liner in a pen form is just the perfect combination. Basically, you just twist the base and the gel liner comes from the Accuflex tip making application much easier! I must say it does take a while getting used to but the formula is amazing, it doesn't budge or smudge and as I have oily lids, I find this happens a lot! And the pen nib means I can get very close to my lash line. Definitely recommend this product if you haven't already tried it!
Jeez I think I spent too long at Benefit haha! The last product I won't bore you all about too much as it is a very much loved and staple of mine! It is the 'Benefit Browzings' that I think everyone uses, or has used! It's just amazing. It comes in a duo palette - a wax to fill in the brows and then a shaded powder. I love this, I have used it for so many years and I have had many compliments on my brows ever since using it. I don't know if this is true or not haha, but I always wear the shade medium but the one from America looks super dark! Do they make them differently or something haha? Nevertheless, it fills my brows in perfectly.
4. So after I dragged myself away from there, I discovered Tarte, which is an amazing makeup brand and if you have never heard of it, it's because sadly it isn't stocked in the UK... Bummer! But, after hearing many positive reviews on different blogs and YouTube channels I decided to give it a try. In particular a new mascara of theirs which is the 'Lights, Camera, Flashes Statement Mascara'. Ok, firstly the packaging?! Pretty jazzy to say the least... I do love a good packaged product haha. More importantly, the mascara is insanely good. It is a very dramatic black that curls and lengthens my lashes to the extreme to the point where I look like I am wearing false lashes! Which is amazing right? It doesn't make my lashes look spidery or clumpy and I am very much enjoying this right now.
5. Hmm where did I go next? I think I wandered over to Urban Decay to restock the good old 'All Nighter Makeup Setting Spray' which I have mentioned in previous posts because it is sooooo good! Like so good. I have oily skin and oily eyelids so applying primers and setting my makeup is a must for me, no matter how much I'm wearing. This product is literally like a magic spray or something! It keeps my makeup on all day/night long but not only that, it keeps it looking fresh and like I've literally just applied it! So if you have problems with you're makeup shifting like I do then this is for you.
6. So have I mentioned I have oily skin and my makeup just tends to disappear? Yes I have too many times in this post and I'm probably not painting a very nice picture haha! But anyway, it happens and can't be helped :) So, I use a face/base primer before applying all my face stuffs and so I picked up the Smashbox Photo Finish Primer, wandered over to Clinique and realised they had a range of different primers for the skin and they were actually like 8/9 dollars price difference! So I quickly replaced Smashbox with the 'Clinique Universal Skin Primer'. Like I said they had many different primers for different skin types like oily, dry and acne prone skin but I decided to go for the Universal one because, well I don't really know why haha, just incase I ever get spotty or dry. The oily one probably would have suited me better but never mind. Instead of being gel based like Smashbox, this is just like a moisturiser and sinks into the skin and leaves it feeling and looking fresh and ready for makeup! I've had no problems with this so far and it has kept my makeup very much in place so yeah, good stuff!
7. I went to Sephora on a mission to get me some Bobbi Brown! In particular a 'Shimmer Brick' in the shade Pink Quartz. Holy Crap, this is the most amazing, beautiful and perfect highlighter I have ever laid my eyes on! It's a mixture of five pinky shades and I just swirl my brush in all colours, mix it up and apply it onto my cheekbones after I have applied my blush. These shades create a soft, pink glow that will suit pink and neutral blushes very well! This product is so gorgeous and I love it, but, I wish it was a lot more shimmery on my skin like it is in the pan. But, nevertheless, I am loving this highlighter right now. However, I do wish I had tried the Hourglass Luminous Light powder first. Maybe next time!
8. Ok so I ready to pay and the assistant who was helping me was like (In her American accent) "Girl, you don't have no lip products in there! You're missing a lip! Jeez let me get you a lip"... So I guess I was sort of pressured into getting a lip product. I didn't really have my eye set on anything in particular but then she managed to draw my attention to the 'OCC Lip Tars' which I have heard about so much. So I was like, well there supposed to be amazing, last so long and have amazing pigment and staying power... One kinda slipped into my basket! I got the shade 'Interlace' which is a pale, nudey, cream peach... Great description right? It's also a matte which I didn't actually realise until I took it out from the packaging. My review on this product isn't the best, I have only wore it once and I've kind of been put off ever since. The application wasn't easy and the colour was very glossy (Matte who?) and it just didn't stay nice on my lips and as I applied it more, it was like it was rubbing it off as I was applying more? It's such a shame as there is such a hype about these lip products so maybe I'll try again and see what I think!
So a couple days passed, Sephora was on my mind, did I really need more? Did I really need to take another trip back to the amazing but deadly store haha? No! But did I? YES! :)
9. I had this palette on my mind to buy and for some reason I thought noooo Phoebe, you have so many palettes and you've just started a MAC palette so I sorta talked myself out of it. But then, somehow talked myself back into it haha. Which palette you ask? It is the 'Too Faced Neutral Eyes Palette'. So basically this palette has 3 shades, for 3 days, to be completed in 3 seconds. It has a Day Look, Classic Look and a Fashion Look ranging from mattes, shimmers, bronzed neutrals and pink neutrals. I was a little worried the pigmentation was going to be terrible which the shimmery shades as it is with the Naked 3 palette... But OMG the pigmentation and the way it applies onto the eye is just outstanding! I can't fault this at all and I know this is going to be my new 'Go To' palette. I very much recommend this! It's a perfect size for travelling and also the colour names... Ah just check it out it's so fun and girly and lovely!
10. LAST PRODUCT ALERT! I took a stroll over to the Kat Von D section as I have heard many positive reviews of her makeup and I had this thought to myself... She makes amazing tattoos so why wouldn't she make amazing makeup? Was I right, yes I was! I got myself the 'Tattoo Eyeliner' in Black. Another theory of mine haha, was if the name was Tattoo, would that mean the colour stay would be like permanent and really good? Ermmm yes! All liquid liners I have used smudge at the inner corner of my eye, does this one? Nope! It stayed put all night bearing in mind it was very hot in NY! The pen is made really well too as it's very long and very thin for easy application. My new favourite liquid liner and if you're able to check out the Kat Von D line, I defo recommend you do!
So that's it guys! The end of my very looonnnngggg Sephora Haul! I hope you have enjoyed reading and I hope I have helped recommend some new products for you to try! What new products have you been loving? Leave me a comment below :)
Thank you for a reading and I will be back with another post in a few days. Lots of love Phoebe x
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